make-believe.org

My Brilliant Career

As a sub-editor writing headlines I will learn to let a few words speak for many.

As an interviewer I will finally learn to say you and yours more often than I, me and mine.

As a programmer I have learnt that code is the least encoded of all men's language.

As a chef I will learn that while the eye may like what it has never seen, every other sense prefers the familiar.

As a potter I will learn the patience of the kiln, where things must burn if they are to endure.

As an activist rather than as a lover I will learn that nothing is brought into existence without passion.

Or maybe as a bricklayer. Activists bring little into existence except their own passion. And banners and standards. And, well, chai.

As a train driver I will learn to love the lateral.

As a filmmaker I will learn that at 24 frames per second, a picture must say at least 129,600 words, but it is better to keep the number under a couple thousand.

As a conductor I will learn how to predict the shiver of an audience, and still know I lack their genius.

As a bathroom attendant I will discover the many, many ways you can wash your hands of me.

As a librarian I have been so disappointed in you.

As a tattooist I will learn that one false move lasts a lifetime.

As a dancer I will realise the next beat promises redemption.

As a poet I will learn to make much of the little things.

Probably it will be as a traveller, a comedian or a tv reviewer that I learn to make little of the big things.

As a soldier I will learn how to polish your boots, and how to hate you. Either that, or I will learn how to get out of the army.

As a bartender I found out that pretty much no-one tells a good story.

As a checkout chick I will learn your innermost twenty-first century secrets, and your least interesting angle.

As a marketing director I will embrace the lowest common denominator, and discover at last why we make the best novelists.

As a researcher I will learn to tell stories I have not lived.

As an academic I just fell for my teacher.

As an undertaker I will learn how to put your make-up on, and how to put you to bed.

As a butcher I failed to become a vegetarian.

As an actor I will forget why I exist.

As an alcoholic I've already forgotten.

Like a philosopher I keep on drinking.

As a writer I swear I will piece all this together.

As an old man I will.

Not until I am an old man will I.

If I am an old man I might. Know enough to begin.

Joseph | | Comments(7)

Comments

Vince

Aw shit, Joe. Just when I thought I could talk to you like you’re a normal person again.

Ned

As a musician three strings will be enough?

Joseph

What do you mean, Vincenzo?

Ned: I was casting about for musician, but nothing really came to mind. That would have been a great one, albeit something of an in-joke. ;)

Hans

By the way, (this is off-topic) I was watching the WE04 Keynote by Zeldman and noticed your Wiggles the Wonderworm CSS Zen Garden entry being shown near the end! Great job!

Joseph

So it is! Thanks for the tip, Hans.

RJ

something said.

i enjoyed that one jo.

btw - i aint got a ratsack pellet of research done today.

ahhh…was it jo or joe?

Joseph

Thanks ro.

It’s spelt Joseph when it’s written down, but I guess most people pronounce it with a silent s, e, p and h.