make-believe.org

emdashbedotto voting stylee

No surprises in Mr Maurice White's views on this Saturday's choice: in his opinion, the Liberal Party "is considered to be the party of 'order, loyalty, respectability, property, class and refinement'." Those commie pinkos on the other side, however, have "practically no real intellectual philosophy or support, although academics tend to add a slight 'ginger group' effect and cloak it with a degree of respectability."

To counterbalance the deceitfully undeclared partisanship of my mentor, let me direct you to the thoroughly declared partisanship of my friends: Robert, unofficial campaign blogger for the ALP, and Virginia, official campaign blogger for the Greens.

Though I encourage you to take your preferred link out of here, if you stick around I'll stick to my guns. The question you are compelled to answer this Saturday, on pain of a $50 fine, is essentially this: do you want to go straight to hell, or do you want to take the scenic route?

And if you abstain and take the $50 hit, who can blame you?

But if you do decide to run the moral gauntlet and turn out this Saturday, let me present the emdashbedotto-sanctioned guidance I know you've been yearning:

Lower House

The lower house is the House of Representatives. These are the people you mostly see on television, sticking verbal voodoo pins in each other. In the lower house, follow these simple steps:

  • Count the number of candidates (let us call this number n).
  • Decide who you would least like to see elected.
  • Put the number n against this person's name.
  • Eliminating this person, decide again who you would least like to see elected.
  • Put the number n-1 against this person's name.
  • Continue this process until you run out of real numbers.

The important thing to comprehend here is that who you put a number 1 against is far less significant than who you put last. Australia uses a preferential voting system, god help us, and intelligent misuse of it is crucial to our democracy. Ask not who you love, for down that route lies damnation: instead, ask who you hate. Who you hate most passionately.

Upper House

The upper house is the Senate. This is where the official Australian approximation of democracy takes place.

Assuming you are sane, you will put the number 1 against a party's name above the line, and stuff your ballot in its given box. You will not fill out all 64-odd squares below the line; if you do, I salute you and condemn you as one who would waste her few precious hours on this planet for naught.

If you vote Labor in the Senate, start praying for salvation. If you vote for the Coalition here, may the devil take you. There is no room for major parties in this place.

Voting for a major party in the Senate says this: keep your political debates out of our sight, we're not interested. Decide everything behind closed doors, in the party room or caucus. Whatever you do, don't consult us.

If any party has a majority in the Senate, that is what happens. We get no say until the next election. So, in the upper house, vote in such a way that the greatest number of parties share the balance of power. If the Liberals must share their decisions with the Democrats, they will necessarily duke it out in public. If Labor, the Greens, the Democrats, a handful of Independents and (against all our better judgement) Family First determine whether or not a bill be passed, so much the better for us.

Addendum

Having said all that, I entreat you to heed this man's words, and educate him in what you think of those who lock up the innocent, and condemn others to lonely, watery deaths, and prostitute our national defences to the whim of another, and champion the mediocre, and make us, who are more and more in number with every passing day, seem less and less by the hour.

Joseph | | Comments(13)

Comments

Samda

I hope the Liberals get re-elected… we can’t afford another Labor government.

Robert

Um, thanks. I think.

Though I’m not sure I agree about the Senate.

Then again, I work for a major party Senator, so I would say that, wouldn’t I.

JOHN

THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST LACK LUSTRE POLITICAL CAMPAIGN THAT I CAN REMEMBER. I THINK THERE HAS BEEN A LACK OF FUTURE VISION FROM BOTH THE MAJOR PARTIES AND I BELIEVE THAT THE INTEREST RATE BOOGIE THAT HAS BEEN THRUST UPON THE ELECTORATE BY THE PRIME MINISTER IS JUST THAT. THE PM TALKS OF INTEREST RATES BEING STABLE UNDER HIS GOVERNMENT YET PROPERTY PRICES IN AUSTRALIA HAVE IN THE YEARS OF LIBERAL GOVERNANCE RISEN TO THEIR HIGHEST LEVELS EVER. SO THE SIZE OF MORTGAGES BEING CARRIED BY AUSTRALIANS ARE DOUBLE AND TRIPLE OF THOSE BEING CARRIED PRE 1996. THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT IN TERMS OF REPAYMENTS AS THOSE DAYS IN THE LATE 1980’S WHERE RATES HOVERED AROUND 17%. MOST AUSTRALIAN MORTGAGE HOLDERS HAVE APPEARED TO HAVE LOST SIGHT OF THIS FACT.

Afraid

Dear god don’t let the libs control the Senate… even if you must vote like sheep in the house or reps, make sure you at least vote the other way or for a minor party in the Senate.

Elizabeth

IMHO, the Greens are the only voice of conscience in this whole election. It makes me so angry that their harm minimalisation policy has been blown out of proportion by the Coalition; many groups, such as the police and even Labor, have advocated this approach to the drug problem (see the Greens website). (Doesn’t ANYONE remember the harm minimalisation conference of a few years ago?) Unfortunately, many voters will likely be swayed by the Liberal portrayal of the Greens as drug-lovin’ hippies. (Bob Brown is a medical doctor, for crying out loud!) Anyway, enough of my rant. On Saturday, I’m handing out Greens How To Vote cards in Peter Costello’s electorate; wish me luck! VOTE GREENS IN THE SENATE!

James Russell

Assuming you are sane, you will put the number 1 against a party’s name above the line

Having studied the Senate Voting Ticket booklet, I’ve come to the conclusion that voting 1 above the line may be a lost faster than numbering 78 squares below it, but the latter is the only viable option if you don’t want your vote to be hijacked. Even if I were a Liberal voter I would not want my first and second preferences going to Fred Nile and Family First, and if I were to vote above the line that’s what would happen. Voting below the line is much more time-consuming, but at least you’re not consigning your vote to someone else’s wishes…

anon

Labor - the only option for Australia!! :)

Ned

Did anyone watch The Chaser Decides last night? Very funny - Craig Reucassel dressed as an archbishop confronting Tony Abbott with a digital camera and taking a photo of them both because “you seem to have such trouble remembering meetings with archbishop’s Tony.”

It must be indicative of something quite important that the Liberal party all confront these guys with stony silence while the Labour Party members all get a good chuckle out of it - ie. that the latter actually seem to have a sense of humour and ARE VAGUELY HUMAN.

bloody liberal automatons.

Jim Duffield

Neither of the majors, the Laborals if you will, have an adeqate Veterans’ and War Widows policy. Neither deserve to win. I’m for the $50 fine which I shall refuse to pay. As an ex career soldier and officer, I’m used to an institutionalised “three squares and no roof.” I’ll just take my chances with incarceration, and refuse patronisation on Anzac Day.

Jim Duffield PQG _____ LINUX User #351552 ______ jim@kultcher.com

http://www.mz.scotland.btinternet.co.uk/skorpionoz.htm

Politicians treat Returned Service Personnel are like a Pub,

we’re patronised and pissed on! Jim Duffield Sept 2004

======================================================

Love your country, thinking of enlisting? Think again!

Governments never honour their promises to Returned Service People.

======================================================

The Male Total Average Weekly Earnings and Average Weekly Ordinary Times Earnings have increased in the past twenty years by over $550.00 _MORE_ than TPI Compensation payments.

Question: Where are the Generals who as Lieutenants and Captains told us all about loyalty being a two way street? Gutless?? You Guess… Meantime, what of our families….

“The sons and daughters of Vietnam veterans have a 300% higher incidence of suicide, than sons and daughters of any other group in society.” (Vietnam Veterans Morbidity Study, 1998.)

Question: Is it true that the motto of the RSL is “When rape is inevitable, don’t just lay back and enjoy it, become an apologist for the rapist”!

Support Australian Veterans, goto: http://www.users.bigpond.net.au/pronto/firetheliars.html

======================================================

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - WOW—-What A Ride!” (author unknown-must have been a biker)