Cleanskin
There's a great little shop near my joint that sells cleanskins. That's bottles of wine without labels (or, more commonly, bottles to which purely functional labels have been attached by the reseller). I am a faithful patron, for two reasons. Firstly, the wine incredibly cheap for its quality—I'm currently partial to a $6 2001 Cab Sav that is more drinkable than its $16 labelled counterparts. Secondly I'm convinced that the business is going to flop suddenly and dramatically, like always happens when someone has a retail idea that I approve of, so I am kinda greedily "stocking up".
This place also sells cleanskin draught beer, $10 for a six-pack, and its good stuff too. Pretty inoffensive, but better for watching the football on telly than a six of Carlton Draught. I get a couple of slabs when I have parties (ones I've planned in advance that is, which are less frequent than the unplanned "oh shit the pub's closing" variety).
Today I noticed they're selling cleanskin spirits—vodka, gin, whiskey, etc. I stuck to the wines tonight, because I'm cooking up some spaghetti, but I'm going to pick up some gin next week. $20 for a bottle of any spirit. It's an excellent idea, and I get the feeling the bloke behind the counter is only just getting started. I mean, why stop at spirits? I'd buy cleanskin orange juice for sure.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realise I'm a cleanskinner. I buy cleanskin computer parts (they're the ones in white boxes with Taiwanese installation instructions), cleanskin books (secondhand with the dustjacket long lost), cleanskin meat and veg (from the Queen Vic market down the road).
Recently I was shopping for boxer shorts. Stomping through Myers in the city, grimacing at any sales clerk who made the slightest movement in my direction, I eventually made off with a pair of Mooks jocks. They've got a little devilish lightbulb at the base of the left leg. I don't need a little devilish lightbulb on my boxers, and I particularly begrudge paying twenty-five bucks for the privilege. What I wanted was a pair of cheap-for-the-quality, labelless underdacks. Cleanskins, that is.
I reckon that cheery bloke down at the Melbourne Cleanskins Company should start thinking really big. If he wants to bear the wordless, icon-free standard at the fore of the next revolution—the great delabellification of the West—well, I'll be riding right beside, wallet in my hand.
Joseph | | Comments(14)
Copyright © 2006 Joseph Pearson, some rights reserved.
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Comments
mes ongles
Twenty dollar spirits? Hot damn! Thanks for the heads up.
I always thought those lightbulbs were cute, if overpriced. The real question, though, is: were the Mooks jocks on sale?
Nakijo
Yeah, I love cleanskins. I noticed the MCC last week and thought it was a great idea
I’ll give you a handy tip. People are impressed as all hell when you give them a case of wine with their own name on the label - I know I was for my birthday last year. Or you can do a bunch of bottles with your own name on them and give them to party hosts and stuff. They’ll never forget who gave them THAT grog
It’s not a lot of effort either, although if you go all out it can look really cool
As for jocks, just buy Davenport or Mitch Dowd, you can get them in plain (with just the name on the elastic)
Nakijo
Yeah, I love cleanskins. I noticed the MCC last week and thought it was a great idea
I’ll give you a handy tip. People are impressed as all hell when you give them a case of wine with their own name on the label - I know I was for my birthday last year. Or you can do a bunch of bottles with your own name on them and give them to party hosts and stuff. They’ll never forget who gave them THAT grog
It’s not a lot of effort either, although if you go all out it can look really cool
As for jocks, just buy Davenport or Mitch Dowd, you can get them in plain (with just the name on the elastic)
Patrick
So. I live in a shitty smallish town in middle america. You’ve painted a lovely vision for the kind of towncity I’d like to aquire. And I agree. Un-branded things are heaven sent answers to Hilfiger and McDonalds and all the other uber branded things which guide our lives (and pocketbooks). Kudos to you on your style of living.
Nakijo
Yeah, I love cleanskins. I noticed the MCC last week and thought it was a great idea
I’ll give you a handy tip. People are impressed as all hell when you give them a case of wine with their own name on the label - I know I was for my birthday last year. Or you can do a bunch of bottles with your own name on them and give them to party hosts and stuff. They’ll never forget who gave them THAT grog
It’s not a lot of effort either, although if you go all out it can look really cool
As for jocks, just buy Davenport or Mitch Dowd, you can get them in plain (with just the name on the elastic)
Nakijo
Oops.
Apparently your post.pl script doesn’t handle a refresh very well. Can I suggest that it should redirect after posting the comment?
Sorry about that
Nakijo
Oops
Looks like your post.pl doesn’t handle a refresh too well. May I suggest that it should redirect after posting the comment?
Sorry
Joseph
Patrick, you’re looking to acquire a city? Nice one. Nar Nar Goon’s probably not your style, but I reckon it’d be going pretty damn cheap. It’s got all that weird mural branding, but nothing a splash of paintstripper won’t fix.
mes, I don’t think so, but usually I find the whole experience of clothes-shopping so infuriating that I don’t pay as much attention to these things as I should. If it was on sale, then I sorta think I was doubly ripped off…
Najiko, I think you made your point. Thank you. It’s on my todo list. ;)
Brad
I’m not so sure about this cleanskin business. I used to work in a wine cellar in Sydney (quite a large and successful one, in fact), and we used to sell pallet-loads of the stuff.
Undoubtedly one of my problems with cleanskins would have to do with the well-practised wine-snobbery I acquired whilst working there; but the other major problem I have is reliability. You can never be sure about what you’re getting: even two wines from the same distributor can be completely different. Poor corking is another problem (unless you like the smell of wet cardboard).
That said, they’re a remarkably successful commercial idea, and certainly better than your average bottle of Queen Adelaide or some other rubbish.
Yeah.. wine snob. :P
Andrew
I’m a big fan of cleanskins.
They’re like a cask - but with the attractive plop and glug-glug sounds.
Robert
Do you live near Brunswick St? There was a good cleanskin shop there last time I visited Melbourne; I wonder if it’s the same one.
Joseph
I do, but you might be thinking of Swords, which is up near the top of Brunswick St, and has an even more distinctive business model. I am not wholly familiar with it, but I think you buy a bottle—as in the glass container thing—and then pay to have it filled and refilled. In my childhood there was a soft drink company (Loy’s) that did the same thing, and threw home delivery into the mix.
The shop I’m referring to is probably a bit over a year old, and near the corner of Lygon and Elgin Streets. Hey next time you’re in town, send me an email.
Robert
Maybe it was Swords (name rings a bell), but we just bought a couple of bottles of wine. Like, the same way you would buy them anywhere else.
I probably won’t get to Melbourne for a while, but I’ll be in Canberra for the first week of August. Hmm… maybe I should try to swing down on the way home or something.
Pat M.
Joseph,
Sounds like you mean the one on Drummond Street (also near my house). I especially like the photocopied wine lists they keep up at the counter. You can flick through and learn all about the aroma, bouquet, slope and personal medical history of the cab sav you’re about swill during the 7:30 Report. Of course, putting things in lists like that could potentially induce Pokemon “gotta catch’em all” sensation amongst amateur winos in the area. Just mind you don’t end up like the guy who hangs out in the supermarket sniffing “no name” brands of peanuts in Don DeLillo’s “White Noise”.